Ouachita Race Report

Nicky Meatballs is all in a fuss cuz I aint writ nothin' about my trip to r-kansas. So, here it is in all of it's english slaughtering brilliance:

First of all, let me thank my wonderful sponsor...Jacquelyn Marshall for providing the necessary permit and child watching duty needed for a man with childrens to go and do this.

I left work at 12 on Fri and headed northwest to the tiny mountain village of Oden, Ar. If you've never been there before think western NC without all of the half assed kitchy tourist crap...mostly. Along the way stopped to pick up a 40 oz. Budweiser...because they are so elusive to Alabamians. I only picked up one because this was a real mission to finish the damn race that beat me this year.

I made it to Oden on one tank of gas around 7:30, arriving at the small community school that is basecamp for the challenge. A few folks had tents set up in the grass parking lot. I brought my tent not knowing what the weather would be like or if camping was cool. The weather was good, so I setup nest to a cat from St. Louis whose name escapes me. Walked over to the school and got my registration packet along with Phil and Mr. Meatball's. Once the formalities were out of the way, I made it back to the tent for a delicious everything bagel/turkey sandwich paired with a fine 40 that was calling me home. Well 40'd up it was tent time.

Woke on Sat. morning to around 260 tour riders gearing up for departure. I walked to the gym for a nice pancake breakfast and watched the tour riders start. I read the local paper while basking in the sun with a cup of coffee for a while. After this, I thought I would go for a little ride. The tour riders were doing the course clockwise, so I took of counter-the direction we rode last year. The weather was near perfect and the trail was just perfect. I've been riding GEAX tires tubless system now for a couple of months trouble free. I hit the dirt road that leads to the womble and psst,psst,psst. I look down to the scene of sealant spray...fuck. The sealant caught and I was able to ride on. The trail was just like a roller coaster, think toads at om only time after time after time. I wasn't applying much force to the pedals, just riding and smiling- perfect. I got a little carried away and ended up riding 4 hrs...ouch. Got back to the school and showered in the gym...that is a nice amenity to have onsite. The spaggetti dinner was ready in the cafateria and people were showing up in droves for the raffle and dinner. I met up with some guys from La. and Dallas that I met last year and shot the shit. I ended up winning the raffle for a 2 night stay at the local lakeside spa, so next year the sponsor and kids will be in tow for sure. I must have taken in 8 gallons of water that night trying to recover for Sunday.

It rained Sat. evening, so I decided to sleep in the car (wagon) with the seats folded down as opposed to risking not being able to sleep around all of the other people in the gym - ended up being a good call, i think. We started and it was like a road race- 1 mile on pavement until we hit the dirt road. When we hit the dirt, the shit hit the fan and the Pros drove the fuck out of the bus. My ego hasn't gotten the best of me for a while in this scenario and it didn't on this day either. I watched the lead pack ride away...and then the chase pack...and then the single speeders...and then the women...and then the old guys with helmet mirrors...and then there was me riding my 60 mile pace. We hit the Ouachita first and the first section of singletrack was big brushy I think. It almost immediatly hit a section of baby heads that had riders off their bikes. I walked and passed a few on the first section. Then we just hit super technical rock strewn sections that I was riding better than some and passing back some of the mirror group. Got in a fucking groove on Blowout mtn (the mtn that cracked me last year) riding super sketch sections and climbing well. I started to cramp...maybe I should've taken in 15 gallons of water. I got in behind some great riders for the remainder of the ouachita and just drilled some wicked downhills blasting 3 inches of blood on the headphones - all was right.

There were several long sections of well graded dirt road that linked up the trail where they had omitted sections due to mud. I was slaying people on the road passing dozens of people. Next up was the womble. I just love the trail going this direction. I was pretty much one speed at this point, sucking on the climbs and above average on the descents trading position with the same 4 or 5 guys for the remainder of the race.

I gave in to a hokey theory about eating pickles along the way and it seemed to work coupled with chewing endurolytes every 30 min or so. The final section of the womble was getting me and I was almost out of fumes. My shoulders were screaming from the bar grabbing descents...funny that endurance racing bothers my shoulders and hands more than anything else. Anyway, I reached the final checkpoint exactly an hour before the cutoff, all kinds of hooping and hollering ensued as I was assured of finishing. There were only 4 miles of dirt road and pavement to finish. I'll be damned if a guy I thought I buried a few miles back didn't attack me with 2 miles of headwind pavement to go. My first instinct was "let him go. It's not about place, it's about time". Yea right, I looked back and there was one chasing me - fuck, race mode. TT position and spin. I closed in on the one in front and dropped the chaser. I caught the one in front approaching the finish line, but decided to not be a dick and pass him, finishing just behind.

I sat around awhile chatting with friends, took a shower, got a killer massage, ate a couple of dawgs and drove until I hallucintated around Tupelo. I slept a couple of hours in the car and was sitting in front of my house at 5:45 am, cooked. Passed out the rest of the day in bed.

Ouachita Challenge is my favorite event. If you havent done it -DO.

The end. Happy Nicky Meatballs?

NO SPELL CHECK FOR YOU!!!